Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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