I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
