so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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