that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my being single is dangerous.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
