If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
