You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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