sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
