winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
