Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
