dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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