It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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