So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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