Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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