I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize