Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
