But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
