Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
