her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
