I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
