I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i think i just lost a toe
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
