just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
