maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
