The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
