We won't sleep together?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
