I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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