There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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