I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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