Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So squirting runs in the family.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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