i think i have herpe
just one?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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