Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
