Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
