I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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