Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Screwed.edu
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
