Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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