just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
two words...techno handjob
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
