He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
