Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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