porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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