I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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