i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
