oh god the rape fog is back!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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