VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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