I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
