That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
