i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
