So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
