smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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