My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
