is your mom at the bar?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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