Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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