Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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