i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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