Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
