found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
