I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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