the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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