Don't you send me to vm
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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