Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
